Hey Saddies, this week had it all: yacht meltdowns, Shade thrown in the form of missing Monograms, wonky WAGs, and the kind of Bravo bullying that feels like middle school – but with better lashes. Let’s get into it.

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🐎 RHOP: Bullying, WAGs, and the Disappearing Filter

The Real Housewives of Potomac are out here breaking down in Sprinter vans and tropical getaways. We started pre-Preakness — yes, pre-Preakness, because time is fake (& birds aren’t real). Scenes that proved Kei is exhausting. And Stacey? She’s either the victim or a chaos agent in a Rent-A-Boo scandal. Either way, watching the group shade her like it’s a team sport (especially Gizelle’s little “oops you weren’t supposed to get a letter” moment).

And then there’s Angel. She shows up with WAG energy (wives and girlfriends of athletes, for the employed), FaceTuned to the gods, and somehow ends up beefing with Dr. Wendy about calling her out and in turn — calling her fake. Not the hill I’d die on, but Angel went full “I don’t know her” and removed her old pics like we wouldn’t notice.

Wendy? Giving All-Star. Jassi? Underestimated. Gizelle? Plotting. It’s all a bit high school, but with Veuve Clicquot Ponsardin on tap.

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⛴️ RHOSLC: Yacht Tantrums and Black Card Battles

Over in Salt Lake, things are somehow messier.

First off, Monique can’t get over that Mary Cosby flies in with six-inch platforms and carries her own luggage (3 bags). Queen. Meanwhile, Lisa Barlow is perpetually somewhere between breakdown and cover-up during this whole EP— and lacks the EQ hide it.

The ladies are questioning if Lisa leaked Bronwyn’s business (AKA that unconfirmed, unflattering report). Lisa’s defense? Yell. Cry. Scream “you’re lucky I even talk to any of you”…flashback to the previous episode of her waving cash instead of black cards (we’ll never forget)…

Heather and Whitney clocked it though: Lisa deflects. Meredith tried to mediate, but Lisa turned it into a downward spiral, with a path of stews, deckies, a captain, and vacuum in the path of destruction.

Bonus points to Bronwyn for re-wearing an iconic yellow floatie outfit. Maybe not couture – but definitely eco-stume. And to Angie, for surviving yacht sickness like a champ. Also? Britani needs water. And maybe a therapy sesh.

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🎭 Below Deck Crossovers + Dorinda’s Halloween Takeover

Chef Ben and Daisy on Below Deck Down Under? Sign me up. These crossover episodes are the MCU of Bravo, and this yacht is already more functional than most Housewives marriages.

Meanwhile, over in Bluestone Manor, Dorinda and Luann are giving us daily Halloween costumes, raps, and just enough cringe to stay iconic. We salute.

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🎧 Soundtrack: Hayley Williams — “Good Old Days”

We adore the pettiness Hayley’s bringing to the table lately — from Morgan Wallen, to DJT — she’s showing what it truly means to live authentically, loudly, and non confirming. And, knowing her history of growing up in the South + in the church + stifled in her past marriage…this is just the beginning of a beautiful thing. We love to see this spark lead the way.

Stream Good Ol’ Days, listen to her interviews, catch her live performances, support our girl. The PUNK AF strength in Hayley’s actions are hard to ignore, she could be sitting pretty & quietly in this moment in history — yet chooses to use that beautiful voice to demand a change.

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📺 Coming Up

• Surviving Mormonism (Nov 11 — Heather Gay goes full exposé)
• Secret Lives of Mormon Wives (Nov 13 — it’s about damn time they released these, ugh)
• Southern Charm returns Nov 19 — and Craig is shirtless and messy, again.

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💬 Final Thoughts

Drop your takes in the comments: Who’s the real villain? Is Lisa a mastermind or just spiraling? And are we still defending Stacey, or nah?

Until next time, saddies — keep the black eyeliner on and the black cards ready.

Listen to the full episode here, or watch here.
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